Well, I found that someone now makes lotion for men. It even SMELLS like it’s for men (meaning it smells good, but not good like a girl smell good, good like you want to rub that smell on you and smell like that for a girl good).

It’s so much for men that the big bold word “MEN” is actually larger than the product name. It is “MEN body & face LOTION” and it “tackles everyday dryness” and it is “fast absorbing” and “using this is as manly as taming a grizzly while buck naked in the middle of the rockies right after a pack of rabid wolves tuck their tails between their legs and lick your face and ask you to scratch their bellies immediately following you knocking down a tree to make a log cabin with an ax you hewed out of stout oak and iron ore you ripped from the ground with your teeth and chewed into shape all before breakfast when you’ll down an entire pot of coffee so black it puts a full beard on your previously freshly shaven SQUARE CHISELED JAW” (ok so that last part I made up). And to top it all off, it appeals to your desire to get a good deal by saying (almost largest of all) “30% bonus”.

Now THAT’s a LOTION! Bravo Vaseline. Well done.

This Aveeno is actually ok too, very gender agnostic and gets it’s message across very well. Either one of these is acceptable as far as lotion goes.

It had been a long day.  Three hours ago it had finally happened for the first time.  They had been working with a single fiber strand, and had fired a slow moving light pulse down the strand, followed again by a faster moving pulse.  The faster moving pulse caught up, but because of the fiber’s distortion from the slow pulse, couldn’t overtake, and pass by the slow pulse.  Event Horizon.  Black Hole.  No.  Way.

Sure it was tiny and collapsed in less than a second, but it had been there!  It had worked!

It was now 4am.  They were all excited, and a little drunk.  They’d had an entire bottle of scotch to celebrate after trying the experiment for the eighth time, in utter disbelief that it had actually worked.

Sure, there were procedures to keep this very thing from happening.  They “knew” the risks.  But they did it anyways.  John sort of talked them into it.  You only live once after all…

They bundled more and more fibers together, and cranked the lasers as high as they would possibly go, even adding in their auxiliary and auxiliary-auxiliary lasers to the mix.  They’d had to run extension cords to the adjacent buildings to get enough power.  They knew they’d bring heat down on them from the dean in the morning… Unless it worked.  They wanted to see the black hole.

They knew it probably wouldn’t work anyways, but they tried putting the fibers in a loop; A tiny little ball that went around itself 365 times.  If they fired 3 shots of each type at perfectly spaced intervals, they’d have 3 separate black holes spinning wildly around and around in this fiber ball.  They had wrapped the fiber around a lump of lead just for good measure (it was the object closest at hand with the most mass they could find in their drunken state).  If they were lucky, they hoped the black holes would generate a strong enough gravitational pull that it could be felt like a magnet; A magnet that would pull on anything.

John quickly and drunkenly reprogrammed the computer.  He wanted the pulses to fire just right.

The problem was that he forgot to put an exit condition on his loop.

The problem was that the laser would never stop sending out black hole pulses.

This was the problem John was contemplating as milliseconds after he pulled the trigger to initiate the sequence the entire lab froze and exited the space time continuum.

This was the problem he contemplated for what seemed like a million years (and possibly was) as he watched his nose slowly grow until the base was securely attached to his face, but the tip had disappeared into the vestiges, the after glow, of what used to be the fiber bundle in front of him.

This is the last image he remembered as his brain contemplated the fact that his eyes were now simultaneously attached to his optic nerve, whilst also being squished into the lead bundle five feet away.

By the time his colleague, the one who had been trying to get them to stop the whole time, got sucked in, John had been gone for (in his time) 2 years.  By the time the rest of Britain was enveloped, John was happily adjusted in the after life, and had almost forgotten the whole incident.  By the time the earth was swallowed up, John was sitting light years away looking through a telescope in awe at the newly forming black hole in the far away, as of yet un-named galaxy, which was being declared a spectacular un-explainable phenomenon.

It was at that moment that The Last Judgment finally happened.

It was at that moment that John Bradford realized he was responsible for Armageddon.

-END

This was the story I thought of immediately upon reading this: http://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2008-02/ns-llc021308.php

I know my story is completely, absurdly scientifically inaccurate. Just pretend it’s not and try to enjoy it

Apollo – Son of Leto, brother of Artemis, god of music and archery. Day after day he drives a chariot across the sky giving life giving light to the world. Shoots arrows of insight. Works closely with Oracles to determine outcomes.

Cadmus – Was told by the oracle to abandon a year long quest and divinely led to build thebes (a city). Raised up a core group of five warriors (the spartes) to help build his city.

The benefits of Apollo are that he is actually a god (whereas Cadmus is just a mortal). Also, Apollo is related to Leto and Artemis, who are my boss’s and co-workers choices (respectively). Apollo is a little cliche… I think I am somewhat leaning towards Apollo, but if this decision were a personal one, and the choice I made were private, I would pick Cadmus. However, since everyone will know which one I pick, and will judge me on it, I am leaning towards Apollo…

Input welcome.

I found this awesome pendant light that I want to buy for my dining room. It’s a Mission Style Wooden Dining Pendant. The problem is… I have no idea where to buy it. My wife and I have been separately searching the Internet for a total of about 4 hours now and have not been able to find it anywhere.

I sent an e-mail to the site owners, but I doubt they will ever respond…

Any suggestions are welcome.

http://www.fourhourworkweek.com/ferriss-book-outsourcing.htm

I do this at a minimum of 4 times a day (sometimes more. I drink a lot of water/coffee/coke).

There are approx 260 working days in a year.

I am paid somewhere in the neighborhood of $21 an hour, although whether that is before or after tax I don’t remember, nor does it really matter I guess.

So:

7 minutes a day in the bathroom + 260 work days a year = 1,820 minutes a year in the bathroom.

1,820 minutes = 30.3 hours

30.3 hours a year in the bathroom on company time = $636.30 a year to go to the bathroom.

Obviously this number is grossly underestimated since I can sometimes spend around 30 minutes in the bathroom when I have a “long” visit, plus several short visits. Some days I take 1 short visit every 30 minutes (when I drink around 50oz of water, plus 4 cups of coffee, which I have actually done, although I’m sure this only happens about once a month. I chose 4 short visits a day because this is the absolute minimum).