I’m standing at my mentor’s desk waiting for them to get back. It’s 9:40… We have our Mentor Minute’s every day at 9:30, so she’s 10 minutes late. Not a big deal, it’s hectic because it’s the last day before the first 1/3 of the office leaves for mandatory 11 days off (including her).

Finally, she comes zooming around the corner but then passes me saying something about “sorry… chicken with it’s head cut off…”

I see she is a bit too busy for our minutes at the moment, which is fine. Happens at least once a week. So I go back to my desk, and having those words fresh in my head, wonder what exactly a chicken with it’s head cut off looks like?

This, apparently:

So I bought some music from iTunes on Saturday. I wanted some Mannheim Steamroller CDs and Target didn’t have them. I didn’t want to wait because I wanted to hear them right then when I was working on my book.

I purchased the songs and downloaded them and happily listened away.

When I got to work on Monday I fired iTunes up and went to download them to my work computer. No can do. Wha??? Nope, can’t re-download anything you purchase on iTunes. If you lose it, it’s GONE (well, apparently they will allow you to re-download your entire library ONCE in your life if you ask them).

This is stupid. The reason I bought it online is convenience. How is it more convenient if I can’t access it from wherever I want (provided I have an account/computer/connection)?

Wondering if Rhapsody (from Real Networks) functioned this way, I downloaded and installed it and popped it open. I have purchased a total of about 30 songs on Rhapsody over the years, and I used to have an account that allowed me to listen to unlimited music all day long for like $15 a month. There were all my purchased songs sitting right there waiting to be re-downloaded to my heart’s content. I could download and delete them 500x in a row if I wanted just for fun.

I will never use iTunes again for purchasing music. I’m sorry I ever tried it in the first place (I was hesitant to do so when I did, and now I wish I hadn’t). Then again, I should have known because I always thought that iTunes sucked. Even now thinking about it I’m realizing I think I purchased something from iTunes a long time ago, and I’d be willing to bet that I’ve now deleted it thinking I could safely re-download it at any time… Oh well, I won’t make this mistake again.

I’d also like to note the insanity of not being able to sync your iPhone to more than one computer. I should be able to load it up with songs at home, take it to work, and dump all the songs onto my work computer. Stupid Apple.

Oh and if you are saying that the “bandwidth” would cost too much, I say hornswaggle and hogwarsh (yes, with an unnecessary “r” in there!)!!! Google allows you to store 5GB of e-mails, and transfer files up and down all day long. mp3Tunes.com gives me unlimited storage/transfers that I just used to suck 10GB down to my computer (and shove 10GB up from my other computer this morning) and both of those are FREE.

So… I went to see Beowulf (in 3d) today.

Why?

1) I’ve never read it and it’s a classic and I’ve always wanted to know the story (but people said it was an awful read, so I thought a movie would be the easiest way to go to learn the story)

2) It’s 3d (I’m a huge sucker for 3d. Almost went to see the sharkboy/lavagirl movie just because it was 3d).

3) Even though it has the sluttiest actress in history in it, it only had a pg-13 rating, so how bad could it be, right?

So what did I think?

Basically that it was horrible.

1) Julie says that she doesn’t remember the poem being very much like that.

2) The 3d was OK, but the reason I like 3d is because it makes it more lifelike, and in this movie was barely more lifelike than Shrek 3. The 3d was good because it didn’t call attention to itself (much) and they didn’t “play” to it excessively (like throwing swords and stuff at you). They played to it a little, but just enough to not annoy the crap out of me.

3) Nudity out the wazoo. I am utterly astonished this movie wasn’t rated NC-17… Or R at the very least. Demonina Jolie was completely nude on screen for about a solid five minutes (and then a couple of other times for a short period as well). We are talking completely here. In 3D no less. completely. [Insert your choice of shocked outraged short succinct exclamatory statements here].

Ok, so you could make a weak argument that they “smoothed” over the “important” stuff to make it look like gold or something. But seriously, what’s the difference? Unless you’re 13 there isn’t one.

Not only that, but Beowulf spent a good portion (maybe… 10 minutes?) of the film buck naked as well. It got kind of silly because they were trying to hide his… package… and it just became this Austin Powersish joke. So they never “flashed” his “stuff”, but you saw everything else… a lot. And for half the movie he basically wears a loin cloth. Two other guys butts made cameos as well.

Everyone was debaucherous and horrible. I found myself rooting for Grendel all the beginning, and was sad when he didn’t kill everyone.

For the love of… well… yourself, don’t go see this movie. Just do yourself a favor and steer clear.

The ONLY redeeming thing in the whole movie (I’ll call this the Father Joseph moment, since he likes to find redeeming things in horrible horrible movies) is when Beowulf realizes he sucks at the end, and (after his 16 y/old lover leaves the room and his 60 y/old wife is talking to him) he says to his wife “I’ve always loved you. I’m so sorry. I want you to remember me not as a hero or a king, but as a man broken and humbled.” or something along those lines. Basically he realizes what a bastard he is and repents. Yay. It doesn’t make the movie worth seeing though, because I just told you, so now you don’t need to see the movie.

Ok, the other thing the Father Joseph quality finding expedition turned up was that this movie was about man’s struggle with himself and his vices (particularly lust). But no one really struggles that hard…

They also openly reject Christ in the film, except the one character they make out to be evil ends up a priest. Oh, but the queen might be the only good person, and she is a Christian.

Yeah, so that’s it. This movie get’s an 11 (hundred) on the B-Ratings scale. Blech.

Oh, and some guy took his four year old child to see this, and another couple had a crying baby in there the whole time. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!